Thoughts (The Full Version)
by coolpriss
Summary: so this is the whole thing...still bout the thoughts of some of the characters a day after Hitomi went home...


I don't own Escaflowne and its characters

(june 25, 2001-june 27, 2001)

I don't own Escaflowne and its characters. (obviously!) This is just a simple fic, written by a simple fan. (duh!)

Gosh! Thank you soooooo much, peeps!!! I was so glad you liked it…I wasn't sure what the reactions would be, so I didn't post the whole stuff first…well, here it is now…

Okay. This starts a day after the end of the series. Hitomi is back home, here on Earth. As the title says, this is the thoughts of some of the characters after the separation. It's really mushy… Hope you like it! R&R please!!!

Oh, yeah, I added some stuff in Van's thoughts…just small stuff…you can skip it if you want…

By the way, this is rated PG 13 for some swearing at the end…

Thoughts (The Full Version)

By: coolpriss

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So what happens now? Does everything go back to normal, just like that? *sigh* _No, nothing's back to normal… Oh, Van…I miss you…so much…I want to be with you…why did you let me go?_

How can I be in two places at the same time? My body may be here on Earth, but my mind…my soul…my heart…is there…in Gaea…with you, Van…

I want to go back, I really do…but how…I have my responsibilities here…I was born here…but in Gaea…in Gaea…only there can I find my happiness…true happiness…happiness with you, Van…

I don't know what to do, Van…can you hear me?…help me, please…tell me what to do…I love you, Van…

They say that time heals all wounds…Is that true? Maybe…with enough time…

NO! I will never forget you, Van! NEVER! Yes, I may be forced to stay here…but there will never be someone…anyone…that I would love just as I love you, Van! Nobody would even come close! 

Oh, Van…I love you…I really do…I was such a fool…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…but maybe it's not yet too late…maybe…if I wish really hard…maybe…

***

So what happens now? I guess I should rebuild Fanelia. I am their King, afterall. But then again, what good is a king when there is no queen to be with him…to love him…and there is only one queen for me…

Hitomi…I wonder what she's doing now…the Mystic Moon looks so big here in Gaea…where are you, Hitomi…are you thinking of me too…

I was such a fool…why did I let you go, just like that? I know you miss your homeland… but still…you could have stayed even for a day or two…here…in Gaea…with me…

I love you, Hitomi…I know I should have told you that a long time ago…I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…maybe if I told you what I felt from the start…things may have changed…maybe…you would still be here…in Gaea…with me…

But maybe it's not yet too late…maybe I could wake Escaflowne and fly there to the Mystic Moon…no, I don't even have to do that…I could just spread my wings and fly to you…to wherever you are…and then I could hold you once again…feel your gentle skin…gaze at your emerald eyes…see your beautiful face…your smile…would you like that, Hitomi?

Can you hear me, Hitomi…I'm coming for you…just you wait and see…I love you, Hitomi…I love you…forever, Hitomi…I love you…

***

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So what happens now? I have to go back to Astouria and make up for all those times I missed with Celena. I have to take care of her. But what about me? What's gonna happen to my life? 

Hitomi's gone back to her home. I'm sure Van's gonna rebuild Fanelia. And Princess Millerna…I don't know…why can't I understand what I feel…

I guess they're right to call me a play boy. But I did love Marlene. And I guess I always will. And Hitomi…I know there was a point in time that I did love her…she was…incredible…brave and extremely talented…but Millerna…

No. Now isn't the time to think about how I feel. I should focus on Celena. All those years…she was right under my nose…Dilandau…I can't believe the Zaibach did that to her…how on Gaea could they turn sweet, innocent Celena into that bloodthirsty monster? I can't even imagine the pain my little sister went through…

Little sister…maybe that's just what I feel for Millerna…I mean she **is** Marlene's younger sister…and that's how I loved Hitomi first, right? Like a younger sister?

Stop it, Allen Shaezar! You must focus on CELENA, not Millerna! Heck, why can't I stop thinking of her?

Is this…could it be…No! I loved Marlene…she just reminded me of her…just like Princess Eries said…or do I…NO! Like I told Princess Eries, Marlene is the ONLY one I'll ever love…

Stop it! FOCUS ON CELENA!

***

So what happens now? Everything's changed. Hitomi's gone, almost all of Astouria was destroyed…I don't know what's gonna happen with my so-called marriage with Dryden…and Allen…

I suppose Allen's going back to his post with Celena. Maybe he'll even retire from being a knight for a while to take care of her…she's so lucky…

I still love Allen…I guess I always will…but Dryden…yes, I have to admit, he's…well, I haven't **fallen** for him or anything, but…I do like him…in a way…I guess…

He has his ways…he may seem sort of…superficial…on the outside…but he does care for me…and I do believe him…but…still…he's not Allen…

Oh, Allen…I do love you…do you really see me only as Marlene's sister? Is that all I could ever be to you? Can't you learn to love me too…

Dryden broke off our marriage…I know it's unethical for a princess to marry someone else, even if it **was** him who broke off our marriage…but what is ethics…I don't care what anyone would say…I love you, Allen…

But I know you probably don't feel the same way. Eries has always told me that you would never be able to love anyone except Marlene and that you would just break my heart…maybe Dryden is the one I'm destined to be with…

He said he would prove himself worthy of my love…and I do believe him…I guess I could learn to love Dryden…like Marlene learned to love Duke Freid…but it wouldn't be the same…it simply wouldn't be the same…

***

So what happens now? The whole Gaea is in chaos. Almost everything was destroyed. Its gonna be long while till everything returns to normal. 

Princess Millerna…what's gonna happen to us? As if there even was an US. You're just so beautiful…a perfect picture of a princess…yet someone who never lets tradition get in the way of her life…you know your mind…and speak it…so why did you agree to marry me?

I have to admit, that's what attracted me to you the first place…well, aside from your beauty, of course…but I knew you loved Allen. You always show your feelings…that's what I liked about you…but all the while, were you just playing with my feelings? 

Feelings, huh! Am I getting soft?! *smiles* I know that at first, I just wanted you…I mean who wouldn't? But after a while, I guess I have fallen for you…

Geez! I sound so pathetic! I guess I **am** pathetic. I, Dryden Fassa, for once settled for the second place…never have I been second place in a girl's heart…always first…always…except with you…

But not anymore. I will NOT settle for second place…especially not with you…you WILL love me…even more than that pathetic excuse of a knight, Allen Shaezar…

But how…

***

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So what happens now? I know Lord Van's gonna rebuild Fanelia. And of course, I'm gonna be there with him…that idiot Hitomi…she doesn't know what she would be missing…

Wait a minute…did I just…no, I didn't pity her…and NO, I don't miss her! In fact, I'm so glad she's gone…now, it's just Lord Van and me…just how it was meant to be…

Well, okay, I DO miss teasing her…that girl's just sooo weird! *shakes her head* But she's fun too, sometimes…

Hey, why am I even thinking of HER? She's out of my hair forever! I should be rejoicing! But how can I be happy when Lord Van's sad…

He misses her terribly…all he ever does now is stare at the sky…the Mystic Moon in particular…oh, Hitomi I could KILL you for doing this to Lord Van! Do you have any idea how much he misses you…how much he cares for you…how much he loves you…

You're so lucky, Hitomi…I wish…

***

So what happens now? I have no idea what happened for the past ten or so years. I'm not even sure who I really am…and to top it off, they said that it was **ME** who destroyed almost all of Gaea…

The only thing I** do **remember is my brother. And he says everything's fine…and I believe him…but somehow, there's just something…in me…that I can't explain…I don't know what it is…

Shimatta!

What was that? 

Shimatta! Shimatta! Shimatta! 

That voice…it sounds familiar…so… familiar…

SHIMATTA!!!

No…I don't like this…no…help me, Allen…help me, please…

LET ME OUT!!! SHIMATTA!!!

***

~J ~

***

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I love you, Hitomi…

Van…

I'm coming for you, Hitomi…

Oh, Van…I…don't know…

What do you mean, Hitomi?

I love you, Van…but…how can I leave---again? And so soon…I…

But, Hitomi…don't you want…to be…with me…

Oh, Van…please…don't do this…you know I love you…I told you so…And I DO want to be with you, Van…I really do…but…

It's okay, Hitomi…I understand…that's your home…and you can not abandon it just like that…I won't abandon Fanelia too…please forgive me…

Oh, Van…I love you…I love you so much…but I do believe…I know…everything's gonna work out fine, Van…I know…just have faith…

I love you, Hitomi…

I love you, too, Van…I will never EVER forget you…

I'll love you, Hitomi, FOREVER…

***

~J ~

--^.^--

~J ~

***

There. The full version. Sort of mushy, ne? I wasn't sure what to do with dilandau, though…I thought it was still quite early to "release" him…so I just left it to your imagination…Hope you liked it! Please mail me---I need feedback, peeps!

coolpriss@bolt.com


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